What do I want to see on stage? I want to see great story telling onstage. I've been getting really frustrated with musicals and their disjointed storytelling and then all of a sudden there is Happy ending. i feel I've become too cynical for musicals, but i find a way to enjoy them. I enjoy things that are a little too tragic. I like to see things that are not by t the book. Thing that are different and challenges what i feel about a particular genre of a show. I like seeing performances that challenge my perspective and help me see things differently then I how i saw them before. A performer can be authentic yet different. I think people need to evolve as performers. I want to see some freaking pink elephants with blue tutus.
What can I contribute on stage and what is holding me back? In most performances I give 110% whether I am performing, producing, or directing. If I hated the show at least I gave my all. It wall authentically me each time therefore I have no regrets about any show that I've done. For most movement dance shows I feel my body responds well for most styles except for things that are extremely ridged such as ballet. I hate ballet, but if I am involved in something that I believe in my body responds well. As a dancer and as a performer that is what I count on the most. My insecurities probably hold me back the most. I tend to step back when I feel intimidated and unheard. I procrastinate and I don't explore new things as much as I should. The changes in my body freak me out. I wish I had the 16 year old skinny and limber body I used to have. I would feel more confident in my stage presence and with experimenting with movement. Its so silly to worry about these things. However, right now I have a perspective on thing so hopefully I will change. I feel a sense of Independence and freedom that I haven't felt in a really long time.
Well what can I do about it? I feel like I am already taking drastic measures. I am applying to three performing arts master programs. Two of them outside of the bay. I know I want to continue to be a part of the performing arts community, and as a leader of the subject in the whelm of academia. I wish I was dancing more, but there are only so many hours within a day. If my laziness and procrastination doesn't get to the best of me then i feel like I can achieve these goals. This past moth I was involved in an alumni performance with my high school color guard/ dance team. I found this new awakening in my body. I was able to do things that I was able to do as a teenager. As long as I continue to not limit myself in my possibilities and potential I'll be fine. I can't let self doubt get int the way of achieving full potential.
First idea. This is from the movement in 06. I wanted to do piece on the Leyte landslide. At first I wanted to make into a political piece when I heard the landslide was created by deforestation, but since those theories have been dis proven I want to make it into a more human piece. Where we start with people laying on the ground with brown cloth over them, and the events of what happened before that would rewind showing what these people were doing before the landslide happened. It would a glimpse of their happiest moments from their marriages, to their birth, and eventually when the trees in their village was planted.
Second idea: This is an idea for movement 07. I wanted to have a pregnant teenage girl who battles with an aswang. Playing on the myth that aswangs eat pregnant women's babies. I wanted the aswang to represent this young woman's struggle of being pregnant at such an early age. Having the aswang echo the doubts and hatred put upon her by her family and her self doubt.
Last idea: A one woman movement piece. Her birth, her childhood, to adulthood, to her death all developed through movement on stage.
The crazy Chinay is signing off! Love you guys.
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