What do you want to watch on stage? In terms of characters, stories, location, visual, sound, emotion etc. What don't you see and would like to see?
I want to see something beautiful, something quirky, the absurd. Off the map, not on the tried and true path. I want to be surprised, enchanted, inspired, to laugh and to learn. I have seen incredible performances not meant to be performed. Whether it’s beautiful Balinese women out in the morning spreading flowers and rice on delicately woven leaves throughout the neighborhood, looking regal or a young boy on top of a crumbling tower tearing pieces from a black plastic bag so when the wind catches them, he’s looking at the black butterflies he imagined and created. Walking down the street with eyes wide open various scenes would unfold. I want to hear stories that are not usually heard, did you hear about the young teacher from one of the toughest town in Manila, Tondo? He took a bus load of his students hostage, not for money or power, but because he wanted to change their lives for the better. It was his protest against the lack of support and funding for young kids living in poverty. After hours of stand off, the kids were delivered to safety and each one of the kids and their parents begged for the police and government to set the young teacher free! They believed in him and what he did despite of the danger the young kids went through. That is life theatre, that is beautiful, absurd, dangerous but incredibly true.
What can you bring on stage? We've talked about what is missing, what can you do to fill it?
I need to keep working, wake up every Saturday morning and devote 3 hours of my life to just creating art. Work that I like to do and see what comes out. Carving out a time, tearing myself from the arms of my little daughter, still smelling the sleep on her head and my husband across from me, both faces looking like perfect copies of each other. To lock myself in a room with like minded people and agree on a silent contract to just create and make something. A silent contract, not too much to ask for, when so many other hours are devoted to doing things we may not want or like to do. Filling up a time based on work that we create out of our imagination and life experience. Where every second is new, like traveling to a new place where we don’t know anyone or anything. It’s between performance and a lifestyle. A performance has an audience we cater to, a goal to reach, acceptance from critiques. A lifestyle is when work and pleasure seem to merge. To be able to do something because we know to do it and we have always done it. Given enough time, investment and practice.
What is/are the thing(s) holding you back? What ca you do about it?
So many things. Fatigue, the inner censor, the voice telling you that what you are doing is not any good. Getting older, not getting wiser. Other responsibilities. People to take care of. Money. Time. Finding inspiration. Finding a freakin room in this big university. My mom. Your mom. Everyobody’s mom. My body changing.
What can I do about it? Not much really, there’s nothing I can really do to control or wish those things away. They are there and always will be there.
Get over it. Plain and simple, just get over it. At least we’re doing something.
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